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FUNNY RELIGIOUS QUOTES


"I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave
on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a
Saturday night."
-- Woody Allen.

"God is love, but get it in writing."
-- Gypsy Rose Lee.

"I don't pray because I don't want to bore God."
-- Orson Welles.

"As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to
figure out how to get the bark on."
-- Woody Allen.

"I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic."
-- Peter Ustinov.

"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass."
-- Bob Davies.

"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said
He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."
-- Spike Milligan.

"No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars
do. They know it puts people off."
-- Alan Bennett.

"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put
diamonds on the floor."
-- Joan Rivers.

"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable."
-- Mark Twain.




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