Children/Youth

When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now completely frappe!"

-- Graham

Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.

-- Herbert Hoover

A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.

-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II

Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.

-- Mary Alice Messenger

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

-- Nancy Mitford

Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.

-- Robert Orben

Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.

-- Miriam Robbins

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker

Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."

-- Jerry Seinfeld

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