If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done
There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence
If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything
Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three hours of usenet.
If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it
Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life
Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read
By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost a fortune to maintain and is still in danger of collapsing. There are no plans to replace it, since it was never needed in the first place. I expect every installation has its own pet software which is analogous to the above
Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed the second coming
I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake