Women

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.

-- Joseph Addison

I married beneath me. All women do.

-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.

-- Cher

Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.

-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Television show

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

-- William Congreve

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

-- Isadora Duncan

All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.

-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story

There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an afternoon.

-- Giraudoux

The society of women is the element of good manners.

-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.

-- Jonathan S. Haas

The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

-- Joseph Heller, God Knows

Woman was God's second mistake.

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

-- Aristotle Onassis

Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

I hate women because they always know where things are.

-- James Thurber

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.

-- Rebecca West, 1913

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.

-- Virginia Woolf