Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes
FUNNY RELIGIOUS QUOTES
"When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were
-- Hillaire Belloc.
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice
says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'."
-- Charlie Brown.
"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our
grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
-- Jim Carrey.
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm
for the rest of his life."
-- Terry Pratchett.
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was
talking to myself."
-- Peter O'Toole.
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that
I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
-- Garrison Kielor.
"It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher."
-- Linda Evangelista.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't
help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
-- Mariah Carey.
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then
having the two as close together as possible."
-- George Burns.
"I would have made a good Pope."
-- Richard Nixon.